Burnout, Imposter Patterns, and Why So Many Nurses Learn to Shrink

“I’m just a bedside nurse.”

She said it quickly, almost in passing—like it didn’t matter.

This was a client of mine.

A nurse.

A mom of two busy kids.

A Girl Scout troop leader.

The kind of person who somehow showed up to every session put together, thoughtful, and fully committed to doing things well.

The kind of person you’d probably describe as “having it all together.”

Yet, this is how she described herself.

I paused.

Not because I hadn’t heard it before.

But because I used to say the same thing.

The Word We Don’t Question

In coaching, we pay attention to language, not to overanalyze it, but to understand what it’s reinforcing.

So I asked her:

“What do you mean when you say just?”

She laughed a little at first (nervously).

Then she paused.

Because the word wasn’t really about her role.

It was about how she had learned to hold her role.

Not too big.

Not too centered.

Not too important.

As we kept talking, it became clear—this wasn’t just about her job.

This wasn’t just about being a nurse.

This was about being a woman in a profession and a world, where many of us have been subtly taught to:

• soften our language

• downplay our expertise

• qualify our contributions

We say things like:

“I’m just…”

“I only…”

“It’s not a big deal, but…”

And during Women’s History Month, it feels especially important to name this:

A nurse in scrubs and a face mask stands thoughtfully in a hospital setting, symbolizing dedication and focus in the medical field.

Nursing is one of the largest professions in healthcare—and one of the most historically female-dominated.

Women make up a significant portion of the workforce overall.

And yet, the language we use often makes that impact feel smaller than it is.

So the question isn’t just:

Why do nurses say “just”?

It’s also:

Why have so many women been conditioned to shrink their presence? Even in the very spaces they sustain?

Back to Our Session

We didn’t turn this into a conversation about confidence.

We stayed grounded in what was happening right now.

I asked her:

“When you say ‘just,’ how does that shape how you show up in your shift?”

And that’s where the shift began.

Because it showed up in ways she hadn’t fully noticed:

• hesitating before speaking up

• second-guessing decisions she was fully qualified to make

• minimizing her role when communicating with others

Not because she lacked competence.

But because there was a quiet, persistent narrative underneath it all:

Don’t take up too much spachttp://it.youe.

A Coaching Framework in Practice

This is where conscious practice becomes practical.

When that internal narrative shows up - the "don’t take up too much space, keep it small, say “just”—it often feels automatic, and almost like truth.

When I was studying to become a coach, I began to practice a way to break that internal cycle.

Awareness + choice

Let me explain

The awareness is noticing:

What you’re telling yourself

How it’s shaping how you show up

And the choice is asking:

Is this how I want to continue showing up?

Because when something stays unconscious, it runs the pattern for you.

But once you see it, you’re no longer automatically driven by it.

You have the opportunity to respond differently.

You have options.

Not Exactly Imposter Syndrome—But Imposter Patterns

We often label this as imposter syndrome.

But what I see, especially in nurses and those from marginalized spaces, is slightly different.

It’s not always:

“I don’t belong here.”

It’s more often:

“I belong… but I shouldn’t take up too much space while I’m here.”

That’s not a lack of capability.

It’s a learned pattern.

And that pattern is subtle yet powerful.

Because over time, shrinking yourself requires energy.

When Shrinking Becomes Professional, Not Just Personal

And over time, that shrinking doesn’t just stay personal.

It starts to shape how the profession shows up as a whole.

Because while nurses are incredibly strong advocates for their patients—often going above and beyond in individual moments of care—

We are far less practiced at advocating for:

• the profession itself

• our collective influence

• our role in shaping healthcare systems

So the question becomes:

What happens when one of the largest segments of the healthcare workforce consistently minimizes its own voice?

Does nursing begin to be seen as:

• essential, but not influential?

• present, but not positioned?

• relied upon, but not included in decision-making?

And more importantly—

Does that perception get reinforced every time we say “just”?

The Burnout Loop No One Names

This is where it becomes more than language.

It becomes a cycle.

When nurses:

• downplay their role

• hesitate to claim their expertise

• advocate primarily at the bedside, but not beyond it (I did this for years!)

The system continues to:

• under-recognize their impact

• exclude their perspective in larger decisions

• treat nursing as an afterthought rather than a driving force

And the loop continues:

You feel unseen →You minimize your role →The system reflects that minimization →You feel even less empowered

All while continuing to carry one of the heaviest loads in healthcare.

This isn’t about placing responsibility on individual nurses to fix systemic issues.

But it is about recognizing:

How internalized patterns can quietly reinforce external dynamics.

Because when awareness shifts at the individual level, it can begin to influence:

• how we speak about our work

• how we show up in teams

• how we advocate beyond immediate patient care

And over time—that matters.

Back to Our Session

We didn’t create a long routine.

We focused on small, in-the-moment shifts she could practically use.

When she caught herself saying:

“I’m just…”

I didn’t tell her to replace it with something more positive.

I asked her to pause and ask:

“What am I minimizing right now?”

That question alone started to change things.

Before walking into a patient’s room, instead of rushing in on autopilot, we practiced:

“How do I want to show up in this moment?”

Not the whole shift.

Just this interaction.

In moments where she felt herself pulling back or second-guessing, or hesitating we worked on one simple interruption:

Pause.

Breathe.

Then respond.

Not perfectly.

Just intentionally.

And toward the end of her shift, instead of carrying everything home unconsciously, we added one reflection:

“Where did I make myself smaller today—and what was actually true?”

Not to judge it.

Just to see it.

Because awareness, repeated over time, is what changes patterns.

So… Can This Help With Burnout and Imposter Patterns?

Here’s my honest answer regarding burnout and imposter syndrome (imposter patterns)

This doesn’t reduce your patient load.

It doesn’t fix staffing ratios.

It doesn’t change the system overnight.

But it does change something critical:

Your relationship to your role within that system.

Burnout isn’t only about how much you’re doing.

It’s also about:

• disconnection from your impact

• constantly overriding yourself

• using energy to shrink instead of engage

Conscious awareness creates space.

And in that space, you regain:

• clarity

• agency

• a more accurate sense of your role

Final Reflection

At the end of our session, she said:

“I didn’t realize how often I do that… or what it’s doing.”

That’s where this work starts.

Not with becoming someone new.

But with seeing what’s already there.

Build Community + Earn CE Credits

If you’re looking to connect with other healthcare professionals who are thinking more deeply about equity, systems, and practice—

We host a free Health Equity Book Group designed to:

• bring together equity-minded clinicians

• create space for meaningful discussion

• offer continuing nursing education (CE) credits

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